Redneck Wakeboarding


My wife and I love our boys. But sometimes that picture above sums up how we feel. We want to wring their necks. It was Tommy’s time for a neck wringing this weekend.

“Where you headed?”

After a couple of inches of rain Friday night and Saturday morning, the sun was out in the afternoon. And so was Tommy. After a few hours of work at the neighborhood golf course, he and a friend sprinted out the door. As they left, I yell out to him:

  • Me: “Where you headed?”
  • Him: “Everywhere.”
  • Me: “What are you going to do?”  
  • Him: “Everything.”
  • Me: “Who you going to see?”
  • Him: “Everyone.”

Those are pretty much his standard answers to my inquiries. He’s said it so many times, I’ve come to expect it. It’s our little joke. He doesn’t say it out of disrespect, and it doesn’t mean he’s looking for trouble. So I didn’t think anything of it. Maybe I should have, if I would’ve noticed him grab the GoPro on the way out. But I didn’t.

Muddy swimsuits

A few hours later Tommy and the friend were back. The smiles on their faces couldn’t hide their excitement … and guilt. Another giveaway was the muddy swimsuit each was wearing. And Tommy’s truck covered in mud. “Okay guys, what’s up?” After a couple of minutes of the standard answers, they showed me the GoPro clips.

Before you watch the video (music by one of my other sons and his band), know that I read Tommy and his friend the riot act. Any good parent would have. What they did was dangerous, and don’t do it again. “Understand?” “Sure dad.” I also realize kids today, particularly boys, are growing up in the era of YouTube, video games and prank-filled TV shows. Besides, I’ll admit, what he did was ingenious. Just don’t tell him that.


From now on I’ve decided to hide the GoPro, and when he asks me where it is, this will be my standard answer:

“Anywhere and everywhere.”

Two can play this game.

3 Comments on “Redneck Wakeboarding

  1. OH my – I’d say Tommy’s guardian angel was looking out for him Mark! Glad I don’t have a boy! :>)….by the way, what is a GoPro?

    • Hi Jakki. I read the riot act to Tommy after that. Like many kids that age, they think they’re invincible. Much like we probably did at that age (I don’t know, that’s so long ago). A GoPro is a tiny camera that people mount on a helmet, pole, sports equipment, etc. to get a different POV of skiing, biking, wake boarding, etc. Good to hear from you.

  2. Pingback: Tulsa Ranked in Top 10 Redneck Cities – In The Noozroom

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