Snakes and Pranks

This is what I came home to late last night. After another day of reporting about murders,scandals and disasters, stepping over a snake in my house isn’t my idea of relaxing. I hate snakes!

Looks real doesn’t it? That’s what I thought for a heart-stopping moment. To top it off the joke happened the same day our next door neighbor killed a five-foot snake on his back porch. A real one! The rubber reptile replica was my youngest son’s idea. Tommy has always been a prankster. His latest one just adds more material for the book I’m writing about raising three boys. The working title is “Don’t Pee In My Lemonade!” You can probably guess what happened there.

Here’s another story that could be in Chapter 29 in my book. See that photo of my boys? Smiling. Arms around each other. Wearing bright, Easter colors. Isn’t that precious? It shows they always get along. Don’t believe it! My boys love each other, but don’t always like each other. Know what I mean? As they get older (and more mature) they’re much nicer to their siblings. But oh the battles that raged  when they were younger and lived under the same roof.

That photo was taken after Easter service at our church. It was so good to have my two college-age boys home to join their younger brother, with mom and dad.  The family sat together in the same row like we did for so many years when the kids were little. And they sat there without any poking, prodding and pranking. Don’t believe it! Sure, there wasn’t any poking or prodding, but there was a little pranking going on.

Prank in the pew

At our church they have an info sheet that guests and members can fill out with prayer requests, along with names, phone numbers, etc. Well, one of my boys forged a pretty heart-wrenching, graphic prayer request for their brother (I won’t tell who did what to whom to protect the guilty), and tossed it in the plate. Off it went down the pew, and up the pastoral chain of command.

Pastor prank

The next day my son (the one who supposedly sent the prayer request) got a call from one of our pastors. The call may have gone something like this:

  • Son: “Hello?”
  • Pastor: “This is Pastor — from church. I got your prayer request and would like to talk to you.”
  • Son: “What?”
  • Pastor: “Yeah. You need someone to talk to about relationships.” (Clears throat and talks quietly) “If you need to talk about girls and sex I’m here to listen.”
  • Son: “What?”
  • Pastor: (sensing he’s in the middle of a prank) “You didn’t fill out that prayer request did you?”
  • Son: “No way. But I think I know who did.”

The pastor asked if he could call my son’s two brothers and have a little fun with them. “Go for it,” my son said. The first call again may have gone something like this:

  • Son: “Hello?”
  • Pastor: “Hi, it’s Pastor — from church. I’ve heard you may need some counseling.”
  • Son: “What?”
  • Pastor: “That you got a girl pregnant!”
  • Son: “What?”
  • Pastor: “Wanna talk?”
  • Son: “Yeah. I need to confess.”
  • Pastor: “Really?”
  • Son: “I shouldn’t have punked my brother like that.”

The pastor talks a little football with him, then hangs up and rings his brother. No answer. He leaves a message congratulating him on his recent engagement and telling him to call to set up a time for premarital counseling.

The pastor told me, “Can you believe it, he didn’t call me back. It was a fun time showing the guys that pastoral ministry is definitely NOT a stuffy job!”  

I call it pastoral payback. I’m thankful for pastors who have a sense of humor.

I’m also thankful for my boys. Snakes, pranks and all. Bring it on. It’s just more material for my book.

3 Comments on “Snakes and Pranks

  1. WOW!! Hilarious!! reminds of my sisters and I when we were younger….. clear down to the poking and prodding in the pew!

  2. Snakes are elongate, legless, carnivorous reptiles of the suborder Serpentes that can be distinguished from legless lizards by their lack of eyelids and external ears. Like all squamates, snakes are ectothermic, amniote vertebrates covered in overlapping scales. ”

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