Battle with the Birds: The Sequel

Is there a more persistent creature on earth than a bird? I’m sure there is, but maybe not a bird in the spring-time looking for a spot to build a nest. Even on my outdoor TV (I doubt he’s hanging around to watch the news). My battle with the tenacious birds hanging out around my nest is on again. I lost the war last spring (read “My Battle With The Birds”), and I’m as determined as my fowl foe not to this time.

Every year around this time, the birds search for any nook and cranny on houses to put up one of their nurseries. They can spackle mud and twigs on your bricks or siding or gutter almost as fast as a twister plowing through the Oklahoma plains. Before you know it, their crib is built, eggs are laid, and baby beaks are begging for food. They beat me to it last year. As I wrote then, “I have a job during the day, and sleep at night. They don’t. ” 

Feed me!!!

Another use for Walmart bags

I have a new tactic this spring. I’m tacking Walmart bags to the bird’s favorite spots under my back patio. As soon as I see them starting a nest, I put a fluttering plastic bag in their way. As I write this, there’s a bag above the back kitchen door, the back bathroom door, and next to one of my outdoor patio speakers. You should see the birds dive-bomb into my patio, carrying pieces of grass and mud in their beak, and then put on the brakes when they see the word “Walmart” flapping in front of them. It’s pretty funny.

Huh? Walmart?

My wife Facebooked my efforts this week and got some interesting comments. Here are a few of them:

  • Bob: “Soon a nest of baby birds in it.”
  • Sherri: “you built it now they will come.”
  • Eve: “ingenious!!!! I’m glad your husband went to college, he should have minored in engineering.” 
  • Denise: “White trash bird catcher. Nice.”
  • Connie: “Underwear?”
  • John: “They will shred the bag and use it to line the new nest.”
  • Amy: “Hahahahaha. Or a barf bag!!!”

It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one battling the birds. Joe wrote: “I’m having a HUGE problem with that right now!” Same with Kelly: “I hate it too! They build on my wreath on my front door!! It’s crazy!!”

No animals were harmed in the making of this story (well, maybe one)

Don’t worry, I’m not hurting these cute little birds. (However, a couple of years ago one of my sons did put some double-sided tape on one of their perches. It wasn’t a pretty sight) Once they build their nest, it’s hands-off, and I spend the next few weeks cleaning the walls and patio of their poor hygiene habits until they move out. It’s already happened this spring. Some birds built a nest above the front door while we were away on spring break. There should be a baby shower any day now.

They beat me to it above the front door

Their backyard cousins may be a little slower, but they sure are persistent. And so am I.

One Comment on “Battle with the Birds: The Sequel

  1. Pingback: Top 10 Cities To Be A Pampered Pet – In The Noozroom

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