What’s the Worst Valentine’s Day Gift Your Spouse Ever Got You?

Uh-oh. Another one of those BIG days is coming up. You know, birthdays, anniversaries… Valentine’s Day.  After more than two decades of marriage, you would think I would know what I’m doing. Here are a few of my flubs-ups: 

  • “Don’t buy me flowers,” my wife told me years ago. I didn’t. Then on one of those BIG days: “Where are my flowers?”, she scolded.
  • A few weeks before one of those BIG days we were looking at buying a new car. Wife: “Buy this for me, and you won’t have to buy anything else for me for a long, long time.” Don’t fall for it. I did, and it wasn’t pretty.
  • A long time ago my wife commented during one of those TV informercials, “That buttmaster looks kind of neat.” So I surprised her on one of those BIG days by ordering one. The poor UPS guy who delivered it.  He was blind-sided. “Does it look like I need that?”, my wife barked at him. “You can take that box right back to your truck, and drive away.” He never knew what hit him. But I did.

As you know, Monday is another one of those BIG days. For the past couple of weeks, my wife has said, “We’ve had quite a few unexpected expenses, let’s not buy anything for each other this year, okay?”

Yeah, sure. Like I’m going to fall for that one again. Omaha Steaks had a Valentine’s Special recently, so I ordered online. I just hope it’s not the same UPS guy who comes to our door.

What’s the worst gift (Valentine’s Day and those other BIG days) your spouse ever got you?

3 Comments on “What’s the Worst Valentine’s Day Gift Your Spouse Ever Got You?

  1. THAT is HILARIOUS!!! Funny thing is…I can hear Michelle saying all of those things…it makes me laugh!

  2. I’ve known Michelle since we were wee little ones in kindergarten. I can SO see her opening up a can of whoop-ass on the UPS guy…

  3. Pingback: Dead Meat on Valentine’s Day! | JustMyPOV

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